One of the most important sources of distress that we all can remedy is how we communicate.
Powerful and loving communication is an integral part of learning to access healing energy. No matter what the intention, poor communication, whether it is because of how it is delivered or received, can be upsetting.

Computers and machines exchange information.

We talk with ourselves and others and often mistake what is said or heard as communication. We often think we are communicating when we are really exchanging information.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EXCHANGING INFORMATION AND COMMUNICATION?

Communication is more about emotional or spiritual connection, communing, and relationship. Often when we communicate there is information we are wanting or needing to convey. Yet the art and practice of effective communicating is not about the content or message delivered, but how it is received.

People use communication for:

1. being right, i.e., looking for agreement,
2. being heard, appreciated, or validated for its own sake, or
3. getting feedback and input on what is said, i.e., wanting thoughts and feelings in response to what is offered.

These tend to be a one-way street

When we effectively communicate, we experience a true connection.  We co-create ideas, feel compassion or empathy and things that were previously not possible, become possible.    Communication is a key to healthy relationships.   Since everything; school, business, and your home life are dependent on healthy relationships, communication is very important for health.

Effective Communication can:

1. include the importance of empathy and compassion, i.e., getting into another’s reality, i.e. requests, promises, and assertions,
2. include different tone, voice quality and eye contact,
3. dramatically increase depending on how one is listening
4. include performative speech acts ( skills that encourage powerful and clear use of words), i.e., requests, promises, and assertions.
5. include owning and bringing forth feelings and thoughts about what either the speaker or listener have about what is being communicated, i.e., make judgements and feelings clear about what is being communicated,
6. knowing the purpose of a specific communication, i.e., know the outcome of why you are communicating and ask for it before you communicate (see above),
7. include when a person is not in a place to listen to a communication and how to ask for when they might be,
8. know the difference whether a communication is being delivered or listened to from a child, adult or parental ego state (see Classes for Stress Management course schedule),
9. often and regularly need forgiveness and compassion,
10. require 100% responsibility to see oneself (not the other person ) as the source of the results produced when communicating
11. improve when either the speaker or listener is less reactive (triggered) and more responsive,
12. improve when either the speaker or listener is grounded, centered, and including emotions in a way that they are not in the way, i.e., emotions are not overwhelming the communication and they are not being denied or controlled.

Communication is an art and takes intention, practice, and a willingness to show a compassionate open heart that risks vulnerability and  demonstrates continued authenticity.

One of the most powerful systems I know for learning communication is Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. www.cnvc.org